Happiness experienced only when shared???

A few years ago I read the novel, Into the Wild, that was made more popular by the film version. It was a great book that brought up endless existential questions, but the reason I refer to it is for a specific line that has always stayed with me. I am not quoting this directly, but it was something like this: Happiness can only be experienced when it is shared.

My life has been shaped and defined by those I hold dear and call my friends. I have not always been the best at friendship though. I wasn't always willing to share myself completely, and instead found it necessary to share only the part of me that was strong, capable, beautiful, perfect etc. And though, in moments, I am all of these things, those moments are fleeting; they arrive and then leave before resonating.

When I was 16, my dearest friend was diagnosed with brain cancer and she was given a year to live. I watched her go through every stage of emotion. I watched her hair fall out. I watched her lose the ability to walk. I sat beside her the day she lost her battle to cancer. I had never know this sort of intimacy with anyone and it terrified me. She taught me something. She taught me that it was okay to be weak and be seen. She taught me that friendship cares less about seeing the perfections of a person, it cares only to truly know the whole person. In her weakness, baldness, and fear, I saw nothing other than an amazing young woman who I adored. There was nothing she could do or say that would make me feel otherwise. This is what friendship is, I have told myself.

A part of me believes that happiness is cultivated through our own willing; it comes from within. Another part of me believes that in order to experience happiness fully, it has to be shared. I am really good at going to the movies alone, sitting alone at a table for two in a nice restaurant, traveling abroad without knowing a soul nor the language of the country I am in. I have always been good at being alone. However, when I am in the company of a kindred spirit, my joy is abundant and life just makes more sense.

I have know true friendship, it is a gift and it is rare. At this moment in my life, I feel I have room for nothing less. I want to sit make-up-less, imperfectly and silently with someone who knows my favorite song. And I want to give others the space to do the same. I am grateful to all the lovely people in my life whom would gladly let me do that, and already have.